So here we are! I’m actually blogging again, as I said I would! Who would imagine that I would manage that? (Shockingly, not me!)
I feel it only right that I should update you all on a fairly large piece of news that I’m fairly sure not very many people know. I am, once again, single. I know this will come as a surprise to many of you because, on the surface at least, everything with my relationship seemed almost perfect. I won’t go into depth as to what was unseen, but suffice it to say that God made it fairly clear to me that the relationship wasn’t right and that to end it would be the most loving thing I could do for the both of us. (That’s right. I am suggesting that it is good and right for one to love themselves. A healthy love of self is good. We are, after all, part of God’s creation.)
So that’s the news. On to some more interesting and, I hope, uplifting things.
A couple of years ago, around the end of the college term (so…November time) my life turned a funny shade of ugly. At the beginning of the previous summer I’d had to break off an engagement and that term of college had been pretty hard. Not academically, but personally. People started to notice that I was spending a lot more time on my own, which was very much unlike me. I would actively avoid times where I had to spend time with lots of people.
Then everything went even more rubbish. Some bad news hit me hard. The day I heard it I went for a three hour walk on my own, came back to my room and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening in tears or fighting them back. Many of you who know me well will know that I don’t cry at pretty much anything.
From that point on I barely functioned properly. Sleep eluded me on a regular basis. I couldn’t seem to find joy in the things I used to enjoy. To put it in cliché terms, life had lost it’s colour. I was later diagnosed with depression.
(I know that I said this would be uplifting; just hang in there.)
Around a similar time I was given an iPad by a friend of mine. I’d played around with an App called Garageband a bit on an iPad that my Mum had at her school. It’s an App for writing and recording music. So I downloaded it and started having a play around with it. Something else I liked to do was to improvise solos over backing tracks on youtube, so I thought I’d have a go at writing one for myself.
Despite all the stuff that was going wrong in my life, the track that I wrote was one the moved. Let me explain what I mean. Some music you listen to makes you want to dance. Some music makes you want to sit and think. Some music sounds like it’s taking you on a journey. The track I wrote was just that. It seemed to take you with it. It was a journey to something joyous.
Every time I play that piece now I remember that period my life and the people that brought me through it. You know who you are. You are important people in my life, even if I am rubbish at showing it.
God is the God of hope. He brought true hope to us in Jesus, and he puts people in our life to remind us of that hope. 
Twiddlefingers 